I have given up one of those for Lent (a Cathlo-pagan celebration of misery and suffering not involving buggery). Yes , me and herself have given up alcohol until it's time to eat The Chocolate Eggs Of Nazareth. It's been a few days (we started late) and, if anything, the beatings to the kids have declined.
We're going to save the money we would have spent on alcohol towards our holidays. We'll ignore the fact that that's what we said when I gave up smoking. And when we gave one of the kids up for adoption. And harvested the other kids' kidneys.
So there you go. If I start or stop making sense you know why.
Adendum: We lasted 5 days.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Avatar: A Concise Appraisal
And by "concise" I mean "quick but too big for Twitter".
Point 1: The 3D is brilliant and a huge leap forward in movie-watching. It's not perfect but it's a lot better than the red/green shite. It didn't overpower the movie and there were a few wow-moments.
Point 2: The first half of the movie was quite enjoyable as the Navajo Indians, or whatever they were called, were being all 3D and doing 3D stuff while not letting the cowb...erm, I mean the army in.
Point 3: Then at some point the blue monkeys became Afghanis and the army guy became the greedy corporations under George Bush. He was all "shock and awe" and "yeehah, we'll kill 'em all". However the head Afghani\US Guy\Man Called Horse told the natives they had the advantage 'cause they knew the desert better and mother Earth (I think she was called Enya) provided IEDs in the form of hammer-head rhinos and the Afghanis won, but not before a fight scene between the head Afghani (who was US-as-it-is-today) and a man in a robot suit which made me spontaneously shout "GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH".
Then the theme from Titanic came on and we fucked off home.
Overall score: Sappy Hollywood Bullshit With Great Effects/10
Point 1: The 3D is brilliant and a huge leap forward in movie-watching. It's not perfect but it's a lot better than the red/green shite. It didn't overpower the movie and there were a few wow-moments.
Point 2: The first half of the movie was quite enjoyable as the Navajo Indians, or whatever they were called, were being all 3D and doing 3D stuff while not letting the cowb...erm, I mean the army in.
Point 3: Then at some point the blue monkeys became Afghanis and the army guy became the greedy corporations under George Bush. He was all "shock and awe" and "yeehah, we'll kill 'em all". However the head Afghani\US Guy\Man Called Horse told the natives they had the advantage 'cause they knew the desert better and mother Earth (I think she was called Enya) provided IEDs in the form of hammer-head rhinos and the Afghanis won, but not before a fight scene between the head Afghani (who was US-as-it-is-today) and a man in a robot suit which made me spontaneously shout "GET AWAY FROM HER YOU BITCH".
Then the theme from Titanic came on and we fucked off home.
Overall score: Sappy Hollywood Bullshit With Great Effects/10
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Carry The One
Since I'm retiring my old blog here's the one post worth keeping:
CSI Remedial
CSI Remedial
Despite the constant ravings of people about the various CSI series', I had never actually seen an episode until the other night. There was nothing better on as I was flicking through so I decided I'd hang around and see what the hullaballo was all about.
After 5 minutes of heavy detective work I came to the conclusion that everyone in the world is retarded except me (not for the first time either). Take this snippet from the script, for example:
Man: Looks like the shooter was holding her from behind.
Woman: But the bullet went through her which would mean....
Man: Yes, the bullet would have hit the shooter.
Woman: So we're looking for a man with a bullet wound.
Man: Yes, a bullet wound at the same height as the victim's.
Woman: I agree. The shooter would have a bullet wound at the same height as the victim's.
Man: Yes, because he was holding her from behind...
Woman: ...and the bullet went through her.
Man: Let's get back to the office.
Woman: Yes, let's go to that place where we work.
Man: Let's go there and constantly explain common forensic terms to each other.
FUCK OFF!!!!!!
I was half expecting one of them to look at me and ask if I'd gotten it yet.
Scooby Doo gave the audience more credit than this, and it's plotlines were far more believable. Folks, the emperor is not wearing any clothes!
After 5 minutes of heavy detective work I came to the conclusion that everyone in the world is retarded except me (not for the first time either). Take this snippet from the script, for example:
Man: Looks like the shooter was holding her from behind.
Woman: But the bullet went through her which would mean....
Man: Yes, the bullet would have hit the shooter.
Woman: So we're looking for a man with a bullet wound.
Man: Yes, a bullet wound at the same height as the victim's.
Woman: I agree. The shooter would have a bullet wound at the same height as the victim's.
Man: Yes, because he was holding her from behind...
Woman: ...and the bullet went through her.
Man: Let's get back to the office.
Woman: Yes, let's go to that place where we work.
Man: Let's go there and constantly explain common forensic terms to each other.
FUCK OFF!!!!!!
I was half expecting one of them to look at me and ask if I'd gotten it yet.
Scooby Doo gave the audience more credit than this, and it's plotlines were far more believable. Folks, the emperor is not wearing any clothes!
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